Ramblings

So as I sit here  I am thinking over the time since my life was changed FOREVER!! The day Jesus came into my heart and cleaned up the dark muddy mess I was. It was an impossible situation...
I found an old diary the other day and was reading over a page that I had written at the lowest point of my life. I don't feel comfortable giving details, but I can tell you it was as pathetic, hopeless, impossible, all the chips had fallen, it was done... over... no life left, ruined, to much had been done.. there was NO WAY anything could change and save it. BUT GOD... did you hear me.. BUT GOD in HIS mercy, and the prayers of the saints, reached down and led me back home. 
It was the hardest mountain to climb, the biggest valley to walk through, the most painful healing process I have ever been through... BUT GOD kept HIS promise and HE carried me most of the way, and other times made me walk to make me stronger. Some peaks I crawled over with bloody hands and knees with tears streaming down my face, yet my Father was with me. Time and time again the great I AM, has made the way when there seemed to be no way. And today HE IS still leading and guiding step by step. I have no idea what the future holds, have no answers for the problems that need to be solved, some are desperate pleas.. BUT this I know for sure.. GOD WILL ANSWER PRAYER, just like HE always has, always does, and always will. HE IS all that I need, HE sticks closer than a brother, no one knows me like HE does. The longer I serve HIM the more I feel a hunger and thirst that after each time HE feeds me, gets stronger and stronger. I yearn for HIS Holiness, to be near HIM daily, there is no other presence I desire more... but my KING JESUS!!! 

I know HE is never late, always on time with what is best for me. HIS ways are above my own  they are past finding out. He answers not just for the temporal, but for the eternal... I KNOW my Jesus is coming soon.. I KNOW my redeemer lives, HE lives in my heart. He has changed my heart, made me a new person inside and out. He controls my life, my heart, my soul, He directs my steps, my today and tomorrow's. 

I love Him so much. I refuse to give in, give up, or sit down. Yes I am weary at times, overwhelmed, do not have the answers.. but I can go to the ONLY ONE who does. I can open HIS word every day, I can bow on my knees before the THRONE in Heaven and expect to be heard. The Holy Spirit comforts me as I wait on the Lord. 
Oh God, renew me this day, help me I pray. Teach me how to serve you, mold me, make me into your image. Create in me a heart pure and true as only YOU can. Guide me, apply healing where I need it, give me strength and authority through Your Son and in Your Spirit. Fight my battles, give me wisdom. I want wisdom and discernment more than riches that will one day burn to ashes. My home is not here, it is being prepared for me by my Savior... Keep me on the straight and narrow way, put the blinders on to the world, looking ahead, not to the right nor to the left. Use me as you see fit... This life is not my own, I have been bought with the highest price. 
Send revival.. send the fire on my soul.