Re-Scheduled & Prayer Request!

Urgent prayer Request:

 My dear hubby! 

Now on to my ramblings. 

Re-Scheduled, 

The most used word ocer the past 4years... Well one of them. =) 

But please know I don't take it lightly, however, God has taught me that there are worse things in life.

 And when I can't follow through on a commitment, please know my heart doesn't take joy in that. 

I try really hard to go beyond what I should but I know it's hard to understand what others are going through, so as humans we tend to be critical instead of compassionate. 

Please know I love deeply, 

am loyal to a fault,

 and when hurt I hurt just as deeply. 

But I'm also by Gods grace forgiving just as deeply as I was hurt, 

because that's what Jesus did for me. 

When I can't meet you for dinner or attend an event you graciously extended an invitation to, please know it bothers me more than it probably does you. 

So when I or a member of my family is accused of being unreliable, flaky, or offish..... 

Please know that's not our hearts motive and Jesus knows this.

 This experience , this journey, 

is teaching us how to love through the opinionated and critical  magnifying glass we feel at times is upon us. 

And learning to let God defend us, 

He does a much better job.

Know that to every missed call, unanswered email or text, and no thank you card received as of yet,

 there's been nights on end of no sleep, lots of tears and pain and praying going on behind these closed doors, 

Please know we love our family and friends and are not shutting you out, 

we are just trying to get through, 

one day at a time. 

And we are thankful for those whom God has so graciously placed in our lives that do believe in us, 

see first hand what we are facing,

 and still chooses to stick by our side with pure love. 

We are so blessed by you all!! 

I know I didn't "need" to explain anything , and I'm not... 

I'm just sharing my heart. 

Something the enemy doesn't want me to do, 

but 

"I am who I am by the grace of God" 

Please know I'm not asking for sympathy just sharing and keeping it real! 

Please know we are sorry if our current circumstances are a stumbling block to you, but save yourself the stress of it and just give it to Jesus and keep praying for us, Gods still working on us =) 

I'm sure He is you too! 

And lastly, please know we DO pray for so many of you, because we know first hand how important prayer is. 

(Guess that wasn't the last one 😜)

And we are so blessed by so many of you that have built that wall of prayer. 

So, today was another Re-Schedule 

kind of day for me. 

I was in so much pain I couldn't get up to even attempt to get dressed and the girls had to put me in bed. 

Shania and my dear Mother ran my errands for me (well a big chunk at least)

I know my DR isn't happy with me but... When all the drugs I have to try to help cope with the pain is of no help, I have no choice but to not move. 

The enemy tried to bring a huge temptation to give up my healing of my heart in the wee hours this morning. 

My heart rhythm was out of whack for several hours causing high heart rates and some very familiar symptoms. 

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT.......

God promised to raise up a standard in our defense and He did for me this morning, twice. 

I refuse to use my heart monitor so i asked Jesus if my stethoscope was okay to use(I know there isn't a difference, but to me there is a reason behind it) 

I heard Jesus reverse that rhythm and go right back into NSR. 

Happened once more later in the morning and Shania was listening to my heart and we prayed. 

Felt nothing but I refused it and was not giving my healing up.

 ITS MINE!! 

Jesus gave it to me and 

NO ONE is taking that away!!!! 

After we started praising God for how good He is and how much we love Him and trust Him, the Blessed Holy Spirit settled right down here in our little livingroom again and witnessed the healing to my heart. 

 Both physically, spiritually, and emotionally!! 

Praise God!!! 

So, Shania re-scheduled my appointment and now we are looking to Steve's on Friday.

 Praying to be rested up enough to have some of the "fog" lifted to be of a help to my dear hubby. 

We don't know what Gods plan is, 

He doesn't "owe" us an explanation. 

Everything looks so uncertain to the human eye, but oh, I'm so glad we have spiritual eyes to look through and see not the answer maybe, but the Good Shepard whom is leading us and shaping us into His image. 

Accepting that the five of us are on The Potters Wheel and the unknowns? 

are very known to HIM!!! 

Oh what peace to let go and let God, 

to roll it all over to Him and just do the best we can for HIS glory, 

This is all just diagnostic testing for the big day to come, Our King Jesus' return! 

That's one day I want to be ready for with NO hidden surprises to give a different diagnosis than expected. 

That one is eternally irreversible! 

Yes this is my ramblings tonight, but it is my blog so I'm okay with that! 

=) 

New Day, New Mercies

I don't really know exactly what to say. 

Many would like an update on how we are doing, how's Steve? 

The Lord helps with each passing hour. 

God is in control and we rest in that. 

I will not let the enemy of my soul take me on an emotional roller coaster ride of "vain imaginations" 

We are tired, weary, and worn.... 

But we are Blessed!! 

Right now the routine is, keep hubby company at night and then a group effort to help him get ready for work. 

I have a DR appointment on Wed and Hubby does on Friday. 

I don't want to deal with mine with all that's going on but hubby says otherwise. =) 

 So I will go. 

We praise God for helping us yesterday we were all just amazed at what Jesus helped us get accomplished. 

Today is a new day and another chance to live for Jesus. 

That's about it for this update... 

Thank you to all who are holding us up to Jesus, we GREATLY appreciate it!! 

Have a great week. 

Random pictures

Always be ready to give an answer of the hope that is within us!

What a weekend we had.... between all that is going on right now, we also have LOTS of excitement almost nightly that keeps us up at all hours of the night. 
We are at the front of the property so we get to chase people off the property, catch them breaking into the Church, Dorm, our house (Duplex) and hear all the street fights of drug deals gone bad and such. 
Saturday morning around 1:30am a gun fight broke out and when all was said and done and cops were called and came swarming in from both Phx and Glendale they also called in the "ghettobyrd" as we like to call it. (police helicopter)

Steve was having a VERY rough night and we had prayed for him and he was finally relaxing in the chair, girls were in bed, and I was in the bathroom. 
When all of a sudden it sounded like it was INSIDE of our house..
 POP POP POP POP POP POP POP POP POP........................................................................................................................
A gun fight broke out LITERALLY in front of our house and kept going all the way down the length of our house. 
So that of course woke hubby up and he jerked out several of his weapons and out the door he went, I came running out looking for a gun to back him up. 
Had no clue it was that serious at the moment..
and come to find out it went  all the way up to the next light.

The cops blocked off the lane from the S.corner of our house
(right by the Girls bedroom) all the way to the light heading north. 
They found casings down the length of our house and on down the sidewalk/street. 
No shots were fired towards the other side of the street, so we are not sure of exact details but it was a close call. Jesus kept His hand of protection over our little home for sure.

We sit right next to the busy road and those shots should have hit the house
 and gone through a window.
 The cops searched the front of our house to make sure no bullets had penetrated through. 

NEVER a dull moment.. and never a full nights rest.. but we are doing it for Jesus. 
Thankful no one was injured in our family and no dead bodies in the street. 

So then Monday morning at 1:30am, same thing.... kids in bed, hubby and I were getting ready to go get in bed ourselves as hubby had just been through a rough night and the good Lord had calmed his body enough to fall asleep so I was getting him up to go stretch out in bed for a few hours before getting up for work. 
When the girls came running into the living room kinda of startled and said someone was trying to break into their bedroom... Hubby  grabbed his gun belt and out the backdoor he went. 
I grabbed my phone with 911 ready to hit call.. and was watching out the window... 
Hubby rounded the corner without the guy noticing and came up on him from the back and held him at gun point, the guy freaked out and both hands shot straight in the air. 
The guy backed away from the house and started heading towards the street with hubby still shining the light in the guys face and hand on his gun. 
I jerked open the front door and asked what in the world he thought he was doing messing around a house at this time of night, of course he was high on drugs and drunk so he was coming up with all kinds of stories.. 
Keep in mind we have dealt with these kind of people almost DAILY or I should say NIGHTLY so we usually call the cops and they are gone before they get here most of the time. 

What happened next was the first time I have done this since living here on the grounds.
 Hubby told the guy he better get on down the road and don't be messing around at this time of the night.... and said several other things along that line. 
I hollered out at him that he was lucky he had hit a christian home or he might be dead instead of walking away uninjured. As he was still trying to talk to hubby I started asking the guy if  when he walked on down the street and was killed or took another round of drugs that would kill him did he know where he would go? I asked, Heaven or Hell? 
He said Heaven because he had been a good person. He had been baptized as a child in the catholic church. I said son, there is no waiting room after death, when you take your last breath you will face God almighty and you will either go to Heaven or Hell. 
The guy started crying again and I asked him if he would like us to pray for him and he answered he would, I said you step back over by my husband and I will pray for you. 
(I was still inside the house talking through the screen door)
he came back over and stood down in front of the porch and I told him to bow his head, we were going to pray. And I started praying for this young man, a complete stranger with a sob story we have heard over and over.. but this encounter was different. It just was.
 The Girls were behind me and they were praying out loud for his young man as well, 
he couldn't of been over 20 years old. 

I felt the Holy Spirit say to give him a gospel tract with a church card and feed him. 
Kelsey already had the gospel tract ready to hand to her dad to give the young man... 
I asked the young man if he was hungry and would like some food, he really would appreciate it he said so I told him to wait a few moments and it would be handed out to him. 
The girls grabbed some left over chicken and black bean filling for burritos and we grabbed a few large tortillas and put them in some foil along with plastic-ware and napkins and a couple bottles of water. 
I handed it to my husband and he gave it to him and was told to head on down the street and to read the tract and keep the church card and come back to church during NORMAL hours. 

I promised that young man we would be praying for him. 

So no cops were called on this one even though he had tried to break in on our girls.
 Jesus protected them and their dad had caught him quick enough to stop any damage from being done.  

Took hubby several hours to get his lungs calmed back down and didn't get much sleep and had a rough day at work.. but Jesus helped him and I know that was the right thing to do because it was not any of us working in those moments, it was the Holy Spirit doing His dealings through us. 

That is what it is all about. I admit that I am quick to brush off someone cracked out on drugs because of my own father. I even told the young man that when he was trying to deny he had taken anything. We told him we knew he was and he ended up admitting he had snorted and smoked it up hours earlier. 
God really showed me that when we listen to HIM, He will guide us with each situation and we may never see that young man again but we tried our best to be the hands and feet of Jesus. 

So if you think about it, pray for the young man that tried to break into our girls bedroom. 
I pray he goes home to his family that he says is looking for him. 
The Lord put the words of the prodigal son in my mouth
 as we witnessed to him for those few moments. 
Either way one thing we can be certain of.. 
Gods word NEVER returns void and is for ALL people.
 The ground at the cross is level.. 
Jesus died for that young man too!!! 

So that brings us into the new week
 with our Monday being a very hectic day all the way around,
 yet knowing God is in control and is working.... 
keeps us wanting to work harder for Jesus
 the way He has planned and willed for our lives. 

If one soul is saved it's worth it ALL!!!! 

Hope y'all have a great week. 
And thank you for those whom are praying for us, 
we GREATLY appreciate it!!!

  

Prayer Request

Calling on all our prayer warriors! 

Hubby needs prayer, he is struggling hard with this lung issue and several other serious issues. 

We BELIEVE God IS in control and is answering prayer. Praise God!! 

There is a huge mountain that must be moved only by God, and I know prayer in Faith is the key!! 

God has a purpose and a plan in our lives and He is working it out. 

Hubby goes to the Pulmologist on the 25th of this month. 

We need wisdom from God as we go, we only want to do what Gods will would be. 

And pray hubby can make it through this work week startung tomorrow, a day at a time is all we need to take it... In FAITH! 

We didn't make it to church last night, kept the Girls home to help me and we prayed over him, we sang, read scripture and just determined to continue to mind God. 

It's overwhelming to us when we can't be of any help to the Church in these moments, but I know God and our Church understands! 

Mother came by and she prayed with us before she left...

 So thankful for a godly praying Mother!!! 

Expecting More!!!

The Lord answered several of our prayer requests yesterday. 

Thanking The Lord that hubby got the meds needed to stop pneumonia setting in again, and Shania was able to take her daddy to the DR for me. 

I was in so much pain I couldn't drive no matter how hard I tried to get ready.. She ran to the Pharmacy and went to the grocery store and arrived home in time to change real quick for church. Her sisters stayed to help me and had her clothes steamed and ready for her. 

The Lord really helped Shania as she brought the mid-week Bible lesson to us.

Steve&I were a bit late but made it over together to church and we were so encouraged by the time spent worshipping Jesus with our precious Church Family on a Wed night. 

Thanking and praising God for His help yesterday and looking to Him for today. 

Praying for hubby as he heads back to work today... 

DR does want to do more testing on him, I won't go I to details but your continued prayers are MUCH appreciated. 

God hears each one. 

Trust your week is going well, looking forward to Sunday!!! 

Having a church dinner after morning worship service, if your un-churched or would like to come fellowship during lunch just bring your dinner&come on over to join us!! =) 

Nothing sweeter than sharing a meal with Gods people!! 

Until later... 

Gods Timing

I see a beautiful sunrise starting to peek up over the eastern skies... makes me think and ponder. 
(please excuse the grammatical errors, I am just writing)

I have been up all night and am waiting for the clock to strike 7am so I can start calling DH's DR's for possible same day appointments. 
Last night he came home from work VERY sick, he has had a few setbacks and each one is getting worse as his system has not yet recovered from.. well.. almost leaving this world. 
I'm sure we are not alone in these types of situations and nights like last night. 
Where it seemed everything went off all at once, yet there was peace in the midst of the storm.

By Gods grace we have learned how to weather these storms, yet no matter how many times they occur I humanly wish it were the last one.. yet.. do I really?
 Because it has been these storms that have forced us to make some very needful, sometimes painful, urgent, life altering decisions.
 And at the same time has been some of the sweetest moments with Jesus....
 Where faith meets reality and we choose which side we will continue to take. 
I use to believe that once saved and that decision was made that was it.. 
see I am one of those "It's black or white" kind of people.

 I like order, plans, lists, yet I ave found SO much freedom in the
 "just keep it real&relax" side of life. 
That is one of my phrases, and wow how I have had to live it out loud the past several years. 
I do not regret it one moment these lessons God is teaching me and has taught me. 
I have blessings I can call my very own, blessings no one but He and I knew about. 
Learned that my worth is found in HIS eyes,
 His word, His truth, His character... 
His Yes's. maybes , but mostly NO's!  (Those were much needed too)

I feel so stretched out at times I think it will finally just happen.. I will pop..
 when He is just still working on me, to make me what I ought to be, as the SS song goes. 
Just when I think I have begun to figure a tiny bit out...
 I find I know less and need Him more and more.. 
and how precious that is, yet frightening at the same time..
 (don't try to figure my brain out in this post, trust me, save yourself the frustration)

I should say it is a Holy fear that provokes conviction to grow more in His grace, mercy, and care. 
To step into zones that are NOT anywhere NEAR my comfort zones... 
to keep loving others despite the pain, despite the betrayal, to extend mercy beyond my comprehension because that is what it took for me and what we want to extend to others.. 
As Jesus commanded!!!

I am starting to "defrost" I guess you could say. 
The past SEVERAL months I have felt more with each passing month.. 
SHUT up in my bones, so to speak.. I've wanted to share, really share. 
I've wanted to write, really write.. but I was blocked. 
Couldn't do it no matter how hard I tried. (you should see my saved draft list)

Do I understand the path we are on? Yes and No. 
Do I think it makes sense to go where I KNOW God wants us to be, yet feel so inadequate that it feels like we are more of a burden and hindrance  than a help? 
No.. and that is okay too.

That is when I stop... and remind myself of problem number ONE- 
there are to many I's and not enough HIM's in the above statement. 
It doesn't matter what my feelings are or what lies the enemy tries to tell me... 
It is about HIM.. and HIM alone!!!
What does Jesus think?
What does Jesus want?
As long as we are where HE wants us, 
and doing what HE says, 
and putting feet as wobbly as they may be to this faith thang... 
THAT is all that matters. 

Thank the Lord it is NOT up to me to call the shots or decide those things.
 He says it and I want to do it.
 I may not always get it right or do it as smooth as someone trained,
 but my heart is to serve Jesus and others with all that is in me. 
Our whole family feels this way. 

As the world around us yells we are just crazy and overboard and feel sorry for our poor children to live with such a "heavy" load, I refuse to give in to that..
Instead I have the privilege and honor to watch that "heavy" load shape character that otherwise wouldn't be there in their tender teenage hearts. 

I am humbled beyond words to hear three beautiful voices crying out to Jesus in COMPLETE FAITH on my behalf or Hubby's.
Or on some of you that are reading this, they pray for, daily!!!! 
 NOTHING can ever replace these moments, as hard as they might seem at times. 

It's been rough,
 beautiful,
 discouraging,
 peaceful,
 painful,
 rich,
 exhausting,
 invigorating,
 and many more descriptions I could give. 

It's just dawning on me in a fresh way as I sit here and write that.... 
I'm getting what I have prayed for.... the secret to what my Grandma has had all these years.. 
fire in the midst of heartbreak and disappointments. 
It brings beauty for my ashes and oil of gladness to my soul.. (my interpretation)
It's not a secret after all.. 
It's .... 
MORE OF JESUS and less of me.. 
Watching God provide everything from a stamp to my next breath.. literally. 
Watching hubby go from death to life, 
bills get paid with no income, 
spiritual victories in our family alter, 
and oh, so many, many more.

So as I sit and watch my husband gasp for his next breath, and shake uncontrollably,
I also see the purest form of love that there is on this earth. 

I watch this man whom use to despise the name of the ONE he now serves with ALL his heart, sing praises to our almighty God. 
I watch him CHOOSE to place his trust and rest completely on Gods Holy Word!!
I listen as he prays for me instead of himself, for his girls instead of his pain. 
He kisses me "see ya later" every morning as he leaves to go to work barely able to stand straight to walk out the door because his lungs cause him so much pain. 
We watch as he airs up the tire because it's just what a man does. 
He texts me during the day to say he loves me and has been praying for me during chaos in his job... and wants to hear all about my day before sharing his. 
My heart quickens when I hear his keys, and at the sound of his heavy footsteps, and at the first glimpse as he comes through the door. Usually bringing in the gallon of milk, yogurt, and malt o meal I need for my smoothies because I can't eat anything else. 
How he knows we are low on it in the midst of his pain.. that is just who my man is. 
ALWAYS putting we ladies before himself. 

So this is why I sit up all night to watch and pray on his behalf.. 
try to beat him to what needs done so he doesn't do it and can rest. 
Praying for Gods will and guidance instead of wanting to just lock the door and keep him home and just love him back to perfect health. 
But knowing only GOD can do that.. but I am his wife.. it is okay for me to feel this way. 

Begging God to please, just ease his suffering.. 
sorting out the healing of my heart during the worst condition I have ever seen my husband in... not letting it turn into questioning God because I really don't feel that in my heart.. 
I trust my Jesus, and the enemy of my soul trying to use that faith as a weapon against me..  
Trying to close my ears to those around that have opinions and suggestions that we have already tried and done and still ... here, sitting on the Potters wheel. 
That is what brings the peace, knowing WHO's wheel we are on.. 
knowing HE is in COMPLETE control over this situation and has the answers. 

The answers to prayer through all of this has been AMAZING... we are keeping them down, trying to at least.. between the five of us I think we are keeping good notes.. 
one day maybe we will share more details of this journey. 
Right now, we are still on it.. but if God were to ask us to .. a big YES to HIS will and way. 

I guess this is sharing during the journey right now.. 

So all that rambling that I am not even going to go back over to see if it makes sense... 

I have five minuets until the office opens to call on an appointment.. 

Specifically prayer for our family for today would be.. 
1.If it is Gods will, we can get him in TODAY for the stronger meds and another round of 'treatment" (a combo of meds)
*GOD ANSWERED before I could even get this posted*!!! 
THANK YOU JESUS! 
 
2.That the final few days left for the whole year of FMLA hubby has available could be used and his supervisors in this new position would be understanding and extend dear hubby grace. 
*GOD ANSWERED THIS ONE TOO*!!!
(Today is covered by FMLA & Work was fine giving him today off)
THANK YOU OUR KING JESUS!!! 
Oh, LORD, YOUR so very good to us. Thank YOU Jesus!
We know God has the road prepared for this journey, we have no reason or desire to quit!
 
3. Even though my heart is healed, the rest of the many issues I have are still on board and I need God to get anything accomplished, so any prayers for me as I help hubby would be GREATLY appreciated. 
4. Prayer for the Girls that they can get their school work done and many other responsibilities as well. Especially Shania as she takes her turn tonight for our Church mid-week Bible Study.
5. The Church responsibilities we do have,
 that we would do them well, and complete for the glory of God.

Everything we have, GOD gives us, 
Everything we are, God is making!!!

The song on my heart this morning. 
Have a blessed day! 
 

This says it ALL, about our Journey!

God's Mysterious Dealings

2 Kgs 4:4 KJV - And when thou art come in, thou shalt shut the door upon thee and upon thy sons, and shalt pour out into all those vessels, and thou shalt set aside that which is full.

They were to be alone with God, for they were not dealing with the laws of nature, nor human government, nor the church, nor the priesthood, nor even with the great prophet of God, but they must need to be isolated from all creatures, from all leaning circumstances, from all props of human reason, and swung off, as it were, into the vast blue inter-stellar space, hanging on God alone, in touch with the fountain of miracles.

Here is a part in the program of God’s dealings, a secret chamber of isolation in prayer and faith which every soul must enter that is very fruitful.

There are times and places where God will form a mysterious wall around us, and cut away all props, and all the ordinary ways of doing things, and shut us up to something Divine, which is utterly new and unexpected, something that old circumstances do not fit into, where we do not know just what will happen, where God is cutting the cloth of our lives on a new pattern, where He makes us look to Himself.

Most religious people live in a sort of treadmill life, where they can calculate almost everything that will happen, but the souls that God leads out into immediate and special dealings, He shuts in where all they know is that God has hold of them, and is dealing with them, and their expectation is from Him alone.

Like this widow, we must be detached from outward things and attached inwardly to the Lord alone in order to see His wonders. —Soul Food

In the sorest trials God often makes the sweetest discoveries of Himself. —Gems

“God sometimes shuts the door and shuts us in, 
That He may speak, perchance through grief or pain, 
And softly, heart to heart, above the din, 
May tell some precious thought to us again.”

Source: Daily Streams

Steve W  

Sent from my IPhone 5S 

IHC-Answer to Prayer

I'm so thankful for the privilege to attend the first IHC in AZ , least in my lifetime. 

I have been to the main IHC in Dayton OH when I was a little girl, the Victiry Trio directed the Children's program.

 It was HUGEEE!! 

Have always wanted to go back but, it just hasn't happened yet. Still holding on to that hope if the good Lord should allow. 

I also have never sat under the preaching of Bro.James Plank in person, he is just as on fire as the video's we have watched from various camps. 

This was a direct answer to prayer, I have prayer that The Lord would bring one of the "mini" IHC's to AZ. And HE DID!! 

Thank you Jesus and Bro.David Spivey. 

God is doing mighty things here in the valley of the sun, if your in the area stop in to one if the valley holiness churches, you won't be disappointed!! 

Wished we could have made it to all five services but thankful for the one we did make and it was the preacher I was so wanting to hear. 

(No offense to Bro.Sanky) =) 

We still serve the same God of the past, He IS working in the present, and will carry us into eternity!! 

Praise His wonderful name. 

I'm glad I'm on the winning side!! 

Holiness Unto The Lord, 

Now and Forevermore!!!! 

Few Pic's of Shelb's Visit!!! =)

Precious

Thought this pic of Shania & Kenny captured a very special moment. Something so sweet about this moment! 

She adores Baby Kenny =) 

Resting in Jesus today!!!