By Beth Moore!

Forgivness

Classic Parenting

Dr. Paul Chappell

Christian homes are becoming scarce. The once-common model of parenting—in which dad and mom stood and sacrificed together to steer their children to adulthood—has been disassembled and cheaply improvised by a godless culture. The new model, however, is inefficient and far overdue for a safety recall. It is involved in frequent accidents, and all the passengers—parents and kids together—are deeply wounded in the emotional and spiritual wrecks.

Perhaps it’s time that we return to classic parenting. What does biblical parenting look like in the manual of God’s Word?

Know Your Role

I understand very little of what goes on under the hood of a car. The tangle of wires and hoses is both indistinguishable and meaningless to me! In a similar way, our culture has made the biblical role of parents difficult to define. We must return to Scripture to understand God’s design for the home.

Parents first have the role of authority. God has placed them in the front seat to steer the home and direct the hearts of their children toward godliness. From the early pages of Scripture, God established the parental role of authority. The fifth commandment instructs children, “Honour thy father and thy mother” (Exodus 20:12).

So why do so many homes lack the spiritual oversight of godly authority? Is it because kids resist authority? In the book Shepherding a Child’s Heart, author Ted Tripp suggested another reason: “The problem today is not that kids don’t want to receive authority; it is that parents don’t want to take authority.” (1) Parents, don’t abandon the driver’s seat of your home! If you do, your children will steer the vehicle, but they’ll take it the wrong direction. You must assume the role that God has given you.

Parents also have the role of providing a godly example. Biblical parenting does not run on the “do as I say, not as I do” motto. Just by being the parent, your example—good or bad—is forefront in your children’s minds and hearts. Recognize this incredible instrument, and purpose to use it to direct your children’s lives in the ways of the Lord.

Austin Sorensen wisely said, “A child is not likely to find a father in God unless he finds something of God in his father.” How much of God do your children see in you?

What young people see in their parents affects them deeply. Paul was able to tell his spiritual children at Phillipi, “Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you” (Philippians 4:9). His example matched his instructions, and the Philippian church benefited greatly.

In Proverbs 23:26, Solomon pleaded, “My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.” He wanted to show his son what it meant to be a man of God. Unfortunately, Solomon was not a consistent example to his son, and Rehoboam rejected much of his father’s wisdom.

The need for consistency between words and example cannot be underestimated. Parents’ faith must be more than a Sunday only proposition. Children need to see their dad reading the Bible and leading in family devotions. They need to see their parents have a meaningful relationship with the living Saviour. In short, they need to see that knowing and living for God is both possible and satisfying.

Embrace Responsibility

My first vehicle was a gift from my granddad—an old pickup. My uncle helped me restore it to working condition and then admonished me in the responsibilities in owning a truck. I think I was too euphoric at the moment to really grasp how these responsibilities would impact my life—especially my wallet, but I understood soon enough. Even as I watched my hard-earned money pour into that truck as gas and oil, I knew, however, there was no other way. I simply could not have a running truck without giving attention to the responsibilities of its upkeep.

Parenting also carries responsibilities. Neglect the responsibility, and significant damage is sure to follow.

Ephesians 6:4 gives two major responsibilities of parenting—to nurture and admonish our children. “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

Nurturing our children speaks of training them. Above all, we must train our children in the ways of the Lord. Deuteronomy 6:6–7 gives parents the responsibility of being their children’s primary Bible teachers: “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”

Train through daily living. The home provides many teachable moments to nurture children. Our responsibility is to take advantage of these moments to direct our children’s hearts in the ways of the Lord. Your home should be the environment where Bible truth connects with daily life. Because your children see you at home—without your public face—you have the greatest opportunity to train them to serve God from the heart.

Train through family devotions. Many dads shy away from family devotions because they know they aren’t ready to present a forty minute Bible study each evening. But devotions don’t need to be long or elaborate, and they don’t require a degree in theology or experience in teaching. It just needs to be a simple truth from God’s Word for your family. For younger children, it might be a Bible story. For older children, it might be a principle from Proverbs or an application of truth from a recent sermon. The goal of family worship is to stimulate a hunger to know God— to turn your children’s hearts to the Lord in a positive setting of growth.

Train through time. One of the greatest investments you can present your children is your time. In fact, effective training cannot take place without time. As you spend time with your children, work to nurture a heart for God. Ask your children questions like, “How are you doing in your walk with the Lord?” “Do you feel like the Lord is helping you stay away from wrong influences?” “What did you learn in Sunday school today?” “How does that friend help you follow the Lord?” Questions like these can stimulate their conscience, heart, and mind and direct them to spiritual growth.

Train through discipline. If carried out biblically, moments of correction can become some of the greatest nurturing moments in a child’s heart. Many parents veer too far to opposite shoulders of the road when it comes to discipline, and both extremes wind up in the ditch. Permissive parents avoid confrontation. When they do address a problem, their corrections are mild, ineffectual, and seldom followed. On the other side of the road are angry parents who neglect building a relationship with their children but are quick to harshly raise their voice at their kids’ simple mistakes. We have the responsibility to correct and admonish, but it must be done with a foundation of love. The second responsibility given to parents in Ephesians 6:4 is to “bring them up in the …admonition of the Lord.” This speaks of warning our children.

Picture driving your vehicle down a hazardous road. Debris liters the pavement, demanding your careful attention. Sleet assaults the windshield and slickens the road. Other drivers coast carelessly along, their cars set on cruise control. But their reckless driving further endangers your safety—and that of your passengers.

If you were driving in such conditions, you would maintain a heightened level of alertness—doing whatever was required to protect your passengers. You must understand that the emotional and spiritual dangers surrounding your home are just as real as the hazards described above, and their damage carries far greater consequences.

Godless media liters society, seeking to claim the hearts and minds of young people. Worldly philosophies assault the home. Damaging friends coast by, intent on pulling your young person into their recklessly driven vehicle—headed for disaster.

As parents, we must be attentive to these perils and steer our children around them. Furthermore, we must help our kids recognize them for what they are so when they are ready to assume the driver’s seat, they will be less likely to be involved in an accident.

What hazards threaten your home? In most families, the greatest single influence is the television. A close second is multiple forms of social media. I believe many of the problems that plague the family can be traced to the venom dripped into its veins by the entertainment and media industries. Author Josh McDowell reported a study of 3,700 Christian teens in which 66% said they have lied to their parents and 45% reported they watch MTV daily. (2)

Far too many parents simply ignore the dangers jeopardizing the passengers of their home. They are vaguely aware of their presence, but they won’t maintain the level of alertness and “proactive driving” to steer their family safely.

How can we avoid the dangers? We must guide our homes with biblical principles. In reality, every home already has principles and standards of some kind. The challenge is setting standards for your family based on Bible principles and convictions. Think of these as safety rails—keeping your family from careening off the road into an embankment.

How do you know where to build the safety rail for your family? First, begin with a biblical principle. For example, Psalm 101:3 says, “I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.” From that biblical principle, a conviction is developed: “I won’t watch something that is sinful and wicked.” From that conviction, a standard is set to help keep the conviction. The standard could be that your family will not watch certain shows or networks. It could mean your family won’t have a television at all. The specific standard must be guided by your submission to the Holy Spirit and your commitment to keep the Bible principle. Your decision to set the standard will help your entire family.

We need these safety rails in our families, even if it means our kids accuse us of being “the strictest parents in the world.” That’s okay. They will thank you later. Meanwhile, stay on the road, and have fun with them as you visit safe destinations.

Develop Relationships

Wise vehicle owners maintain their wheel alignment. Not only does this lengthen the life of the tires, but it makes for less stress in steering.

Likewise, wise parents give careful attention to aligning their hearts to their children’s hearts by purposefully nurturing close relationships. In the long run, this actually makes the parents’ job easier—and more enjoyable. You may believe now that you could never set a strict standard for your teen without open revolt. And without a firm relationship, this may be true, for rules without relationships bring rebellion. But when your hearts are properly aligned with one another, steering your child from the embankment is possible.

The foundation for close family relationships is commitment. Your family has to know that, no matter what happens, you are committed to loving them and staying with them. When you need to bring up a tough issue, you do not want the thought in the back of your child or spouse’s mind, “Is he leaving? Is it over?” Relationships are bound by staying together. Mark 10:9 instructs, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

Relationships are strengthened by involvement. Do things together. Have fun as a family. Consciously work to be part of your children’s lives. Look for and create opportunities to affirm your love and acceptance. Let them know you’re thankful that they are part of your family. Make the most of even ordinary routines, like driving to school, and turn them into relationship-building moments.

Husbands, especially make time for your wives. First Peter 3:7 instructs, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” The instruction to “dwell with [your wife] according to knowledge” implies that you should get to know her! And this can only come by spending time together and purposefully pursuing a close relationship with her.

The cultural portrait of the modern American family isn’t good. Hollywood especially enjoys showing families that are fragmented—no more Leave it to Beaver on Thursday nights. Children are battling the parents. The dad is disengaged. The mom is discontented. Sitcom families are portrayed as weak, fragile, and divided.

But God can make a family strong and help parents as they safely guide their children to adulthood. A truly Christian home, in which the members of the family are joined together in Christ and sharing biblical convictions, is a safe vehicle in which to ride through the hazards of life.

Worth the Investment

My first week as the pastor of Lancaster Baptist Church was in July of 1986. That first week I went out knocking on doors and telling people about our church and Jesus Christ. We had left a great place of ministry to come to Lancaster, and I thought behind every other door would be someone who would say, “What must I do to be saved?” But I returned home every evening without seeing anyone saved.

Saturday night I came home deflated. At dinner, my daughter Danielle announced, “Dad, I got saved today.” With my mind still preoccupied with discouragement, I responded, “No you didn’t. I wasn’t here, and you can’t get saved without me.”

After getting the hint from my wife that Danielle really did get saved, I spoke with my daughter just to make sure she understood, and we prayed again together. She was baptized the next day.

To me, it is significant that the very first person saved and baptized in our ministry in Lancaster was our daughter. It’s a reminder to me that no matter how many people come to Christ through our church, my first responsibility is my family. If I had lost them, I would have missed the mark.

My wife, Terrie, and I are grateful beyond measure that all four of our children are wholeheartedly serving the Lord today. We are thankful for every moment of time and every bit of energy that we invested into our home.

The world’s model of parenting may be less costly, but it is flimsy and accident bound. I choose instead the classic model of biblical parenting. It’s worth any investment required to keep your home running smoothly in the right direction—guiding your children’s hearts to a close relationship with their Heavenly Father.

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Didn't I Walk ~ Camden Baptist Church

Characteristics of a Committed Christian-Part 1

Thursday, June 16, 2011

by Dr. Paul Chappell

"And he spake a parable unto them, Can the blind lead the blind? shall they not both fall into the ditch? The disciple is not above his master: but every one that is perfect shall be as his master."

Luke 6:39-40

Men will disappoint you, but following God never leads to disappointment.

The name Eli Black may mean little to most of us, but to those in the world of business in the late 1960s and early 1970s, he was the mastermind behind some of the world's biggest company takeovers. He began his career as an investment banker with the Lehmann Brothers Corporation then moved on to the American Securities Corporation where he worked on financing with the American Seal-Kap Company, a company that made milk caps. Soon he was promoted to be the chairman and chief executive officer of the capping company, opening him to the world of business administration.

Black proved very effective in running the corporation which he renamed AMK (a tribute to the company's stock symbol) and made the company into a vehicle for acquisitions. Black led the company to take over some big companies during the 1960s and by 1967, AMK had joined the top 500 companies in the nation. Many CEOs and company executives agreed to buy-outs and mergers with AMK because of Black's charisma as a leader. They followed his plan for acquisition and soon found themselves in partnership with Black.

Yet Black's leadership took a turn for the worse in the next decade. AMK merged with United Fruit Company in 1970 and soon Black found himself in a pile of debt. Black soon found that United Fruit had far less capital than he believed and rather than cutting his losses, Black convinced investors he could right the ship. Couple that fact with Hurricane Fifi in 1974 that destroyed many of United Fruits' banana farms in Honduras, and the empire Black had built was in distress. Then in 1975 the Securities and Exchange Commission uncovered a two and a half million dollar bribe Eli Black and United Fruit had paid to Honduran president Oswaldo Lopez in exchange for lower taxes on banana exports. Black's corporation soon crumbled, and Black found himself in trouble with the government for several underhanded deals. Investors never had any idea Black was leading them astray.

Think of all the companies, businessmen, colleagues, and employees who faithfully followed Black for years. Think of the CEOs and executives who had trusted him and signed over their companies to him. They had all been following a man corrupt in dealings and underhanded in business.

Following men and placing them as leaders in your lives will often lead to letdown and disappointment. Realize that human beings are imperfect in their very nature. No matter how well-intentioned or dedicated someone is, they are still prone to failure.

Today we begin a look at characteristics of a committed Christian. What traits do faithful Christians possess that help them remain committed to God's path? First, today notice the trait of followership, "And he spake a parable unto them, Can the blind lead the blind? shall they not both fall into the ditch? The disciple is not above his master: but every one that is perfect shall be as his master."

Who are you allowing to direct your life? Who have you placed as your guide? Don't follow someone based on their position or charisma. Commit to following Christ and those who live according to His Word. Remember that men will disappoint you, but following God never leads to disappointment.

What Matters Most

The Priority of People

Have you ever rushed through your day at a frantic pace, crossing off as many things on your to-do list as possible? Have you ever finished a busy day, collapsed into bed, and wondered what you did of value that day? Have you ever sensed, deep inside, that you’re getting a lot of “stuff” done, but something is still missing? It’s easy to do a lot of good things with our time and life, but to miss the really important things—the things that matter most. And when we do, our conscience is unsettled. Perhaps you feel that way right now.
Over the past six months, my family and I have been facing a very different season of life—a battle with cancer. This article isn’t about that battle, but about an experience that happened within it. Needless to say, cancer and its related dynamics have changed our schedules and our lives dramatically. Chemo has its way of vastly limiting your capabilities in life—effectively reducing your weekly output by 60% (or more). This experience has required that I refine, refocus, and remain fixed on the things that truly do matter in my family and ministry.
About three months into this battle, on an evening when I had some energy, I said to Dana, “I really believe the Lord wants me to take Haylee out for a date tonight. I can sense in her heart and spirit that she needs time with me.” I have felt bad that my kids have had to watch me suffer through the effects of chemo, and often more so for Haylee because she’s the youngest. It must be hard for a ten year old to process all of that.
Later that evening, to her delight, I told Haylee I had a surprise! She smiled and, of course, asked “What is it?!” “I can’t tell you. Just go get ready for a date!” With that, she excitedly began to prepare. She loves to look her best for our dates. Her delightful anticipation assured me that this was a very good decision!
A few moments later, we were in the car, hand in hand, looking forward to time together. We started at Macy’s to look for a dress—no luck. Then we made our way to a restaurant in the mall where we shared a meal. Already the look on her face implied a peaceful heart, a settled spirit, and great contentment in being with her father.
We talked, and talked… and talked. We talked about the problems of growing up, the challenges of fifth grade social politics, and understanding hard things in life. We talked about cancer and how she was doing with this. We even talked a little bit about boys (Uggh!). After dinner, I had some bone pain from some shots I have to take and was finding it a little painful to walk. “Come on Dad, you don’t feel well, we can go to the car and go home.” I think Haylee had been clued in by mom to “take care of me.” “No, no… I’m fine… come on, we gotta go find a dress.” And so we went to Dillards.
It was almost closing time, but Dillards was a gold mine of new little girl’s dresses, and within about twenty minutes the dress was purchased and we were beginning our long, limpy walk through the mall and back to the car. As we left the store, I gently put my arm around her and said, “This is one of my very most favorite things to do in all of my life—take you out to eat and buy you a pretty dress!” She sweetly said, “Thank you.”
Haylee was very quiet for the next ten minutes of our walk. I wondered what she was thinking. Then, out of nowhere, about halfway to the car, she let go of my hand, hugged me with both arms, closed her eyes, and said with a long sigh, “I really, really love you…” It was precious. Unforgettable. The look on her face and the sweet tone in her voice seemed to say, “My heart is SO OKAY right now, I can’t even put it into words!”
It was then that the Holy Spirit said to me, “This is the most important thing you did today!” I thought back through my day. The morning was spent in bed, trying to answer emails and feign productivity amidst feeling sick. The afternoon enabled me to get into the office for a couple of hours to sign letters, have a couple of meetings, and try to get a little work done. But the value of the day—the real significance of the whole day was found in these final few hours with Haylee. Why?
Well, first because she is dependent upon me. She’s my daughter. She, along with the rest of my family, is my most valuable, most significant, most precious ministry. My four family members truly are the only people on the planet who are actually dependent upon me. The rest of the world is not. These precious people are dependent upon me in many ways. Simply put, the most important things any of us do on any day are those things we do to love, care for, nurture, and provide for our family. How can we expect our kids to fall in love with God and grow in His grace, if we aren’t falling in love with them and showing His grace?
Second, because she is a person. Her heart, her emotions, her struggles, her feelings, her questions, her burdens matter; and her mother and I are God’s gifts to her to walk her through all these new life experiences. She’s never been there before! It’s called parenting, and what a gift it is! Sometimes I think that we forget that our children are people—new people—and their life experiences are their first! They are people who matter to God, and they are the most important people in your life, if you are a parent. No one else and nothing else should trump your relationship with your family. I don’t care who it is, what they demand, or what kind of pressure they place upon you. Nothing trumps your family!
When we got home that night, Dana instructed Haylee to get ready for bed. A few moments later, Dana came into our room and said to me, “She’s a different person! She’s at peace. She’s whole. She’s gentle and responsive. It’s like these last three hours with you untied every knot in her heart!” I could sense it also. Haylee was a different person, because Dad spent some time loving her. (And by the way, it wasn’t about the dress, it was about the connection of hearts.)
We live in a really busy age! This is a day when most people live with little to no margins in life. The spaces on our calendars that jobs and commitments don’t fill, we quickly fill with everything else—from soccer practices to music recitals to bowling leagues. And for all of our urgent busyness and frantic pace to “get it all done,” we end our days with a nagging conscience that we missed the things that matter most. A lot of things were “checked off the list,” but in the process we paid a high price in neglecting people.
I read an interesting book recently. It was called Chasing Daylight. It wasn’t a Christian book, but it was written by a highly successful CEO who was diagnosed with three fast-growing, cancerous brain tumors. Sadly, he was given three months to live. The book chronicles how he decided to live his last three months of life.
Here was a man whose life was consumed with success—earning money, making his company successful, and enjoying all the perks of wealth. And he was good at it. He had multiple homes, chartered private jets, and enjoyed everything his heart desired. He provided well for his family. But from the moment of diagnosis, none of that mattered. When given three months to live, there was only one thing that mattered—relationships. He spent his last three months doing what he called “unwinding relationships”—spending time closing his relationships with people he loved and appreciated. Suddenly, money and success faded, and life was all about relationships—people!
You want to know what really matters in life? People. Study the life and ministry of Jesus. His days weren’t spent processing projects or checking off His to-do list. (Though most of us must do some of that.) His days were spent touching the lives of people. He lived in balance—resting when necessary, walking with His Heavenly Father, and giving Himself to people. He was never in a hurry. He lived with plenty of margin. (He walked nearly everywhere He went.) He never let urgency determine His agenda. His life, ministry, and daily agenda were driven by the leading of His Father and the lives of people. With Jesus, on a practical, daily level, people mattered the most.
Do people matter most in your life? Begin with the people closest to you—for they are the ones God has given to you. Then work your way out from there. Focus your life on loving, serving, and investing into people. Connect everything you do—even the task list and the projects—to the needs of people. When you plan your day and your week, begin with people. Make sure that every relationship in your life is healed, restored, right, and healthy. Work to keep them that way. No matter what you accomplish in life, if your relationships are broken or neglected, you are failing at what matters the most to Jesus.
How did you live your life today? What’s your plan for tomorrow? Are you neglecting people for the sake of “more important things”? Take a good look at tomorrow’s plan and then next week’s plan—and make it people-centric. Jesus said, next to loving God, there’s nothing more important in life than loving people.

“And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” (Matthew 22:39).

Someone within your reach has some knots in their heart or emotions that you can help to untie. Now go and do what Jesus would—untie those knots and truly love that person. In the end, how you lived for and loved God and people is what matters most!

8 Virtues Seen in Godly Young People

Principles Seen in the Lives of Daniel and His Friends

Note: This article was originally prepared as a sermon outline. The full outline is available for download at the bottom of the post.

This sketch comes from the life of Daniel and his three friends. We are looking at a group of four young people, tracking their lives, and finding these eight virtues demonstrated in their lives.

1. Reverence for God—1:8

This is demonstrated by their obedience to their parents’ doctrine.

This doctrine was learned before their teen years. These laws were so implanted into their minds and hearts that they wouldn’t budge, even though they were totally immersed in a pagan, pluralistic culture.

2. A Teachable Spirit and Compliance from Within—1:4

Teachability is the ability to be taught anything by anybody. This sheds a new light on schooling. It doesn’t matter what is being taught or who is teaching, a teachable teenager will learn something.

A wise parent will not tolerate disparaging remarks about learning, education, school, studies, teachers, or being pushed academically. A wise parent will not relay their own difficulties in learning to their child, as this bit of an excuse is often all the child needs to accept defeat too early.

We ought to encourage our brightest students to continue their education route as far as the road will take them, however we should remember and note well that academic achievements do not equal teachability and compliance from within. Teachability means that our children are humble, and maybe there is a scenario like David where they know more than their teachers, but they are not proud or haughty.

3. An Excellent Attitude toward Life and All Authorities

1:8—Requested; 11—Beseech, let them; 12—Let our; 13—As thou seest, deal

It is normal, proper, common, respectful, and godly speech that is expected from teenagers.

It must be demanded by parents, or it will not be given. As your teenager grows older, they will begin to feel a bit more of their own ideas, but they must learn to obey and submit to all authorities with respect.

It will slip first from mom and dad. At the first hint of disrespect to you, mom and dad, nip it in the bud. If you allow your children to show disrespect toward you, then they will also show it for every other authority in their lives, especially God. Do not allow them to test the waters in the area of disrespect.

This is especially spectacular when we catch the scope of this excellent attitude. Their parents were most probably butchered in front of their very eyes; their homes were broken into and ravaged; their homeland city was destroyed and burned; they were taken prisoner some 500 miles away; their names were changed; and they were made eunuchs.

Now, how would you speak to a man or the men who had done this to you? (requested, beseech, let them, let our, as thou seest?) Their respect was being shown toward the people who had done them the most evil.

You do your teenagers an injustice when you allow them to mope, whine, pout, or complain about their circumstances in life. Their hearts will be broken, they will get benched, they will be made fun of for something at some point in their life, they will never be treated fairly on this side of Heaven, and we would do well to quickly get them in a framework of having an excellent attitude toward life and all authorities.

4. Passionately Hungering and Thirsting for God—6:5

When we think of young people, we think of passionately hungering and thirsting—for food. Even for their boyfriend or girlfriend, or for being with their friends. But when is the last time we have noted a young person who is passionately hungering and thirsting for God?

I know that this is in chapter 6 which some argue could have been more than 50 years later. The point is that chapter 6 proves what chapter 1 is intimating. Daniel was passionately hungry and thirsty for God personally—he wasn’t just going through the motions.

Psalm 63:1–3
1 O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;
2 To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary.
3 Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee.

This is written by the young psalmist of Israel when he was just a teenager. So the goal for every young person is that they will say of their God that God’s love for them is better than anything in this life. Knowing that God loves them is the best news that they could hear. If they had to choose anything in this life, they would choose God.

5. Looking and Longing for Right Relationships—1:8, 10

All young people long for relationships—a wise young person, a godly one will long for right relationships. It is not wrong for your teens to have a strong affinity for their peers. This is normal, but what is spiritual is when they long for right types of relationships with godly friends.

6. Seriously Considering Godly, Missional Living—1:15–16

These have a proper understanding of 1 Corinthians 6:19–20:
19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

They are here for a purpose, a spiritual purpose. This is why our purpose with our youth group is not just to have fun.

Godly young people get into their teen years and they wrestle and pray and struggle and dream about how God wants their life to be spent.

7. Self-implementing Christ-exalting Standards of Morality—3:16–18

Not everyone agrees on every standard. If everyone in a church agreed on every standard that would mean that there are no young believers in the church, and that the church is not reaching out to bring people into their community for the glory of God. I believe that there has to be room in the body of Christ for good people to disagree on standards. Standards that are not specifically spelled out in Scripture. A wise parent will shoot for their young person first to understand the greater issues of morality and then the lesser standards.

What good is it if my son doesn’t wear an earring, yet he doesn’t love Christ. My daughter wears or doesn’t wear something, yet she loves the world; my teenager is a liar.

Many people focus on lists of rules and not on relationships with Christ, because lists are easier than walking with God.

8. A Gracious and Maturing Mindset toward Brothers and Sisters

I list this one last for two reasons, first and most primarily because there is no hint that these teenagers were brothers physically. So, although their love and affection and goodness to each other was not filial, they acted the way we would expect brothers and sisters to act. Their bond was spiritual, which through the adoption of sons makes their bond a spiritual bond of brotherhood.

Secondly, because more often than not, it seems to be one of the last ones to come to godly teenagers. Now, it is true, that these boys were not brothers, but I would argue that all that they had was each other, their parents were gone, they were the only ones trying to do right—these guys were as much like brothers as any non-related boys in the entire Bible.

• They genuinely watched out for each other. (Daniel tried to do something good for them.)
• They helped each other do right. (When they were living on pulse and water they encouraged each other.)
• A brother is a friend given to us by God.

This is paramount for every home to believe in, to recite to each other, to embrace, and to enjoy. Truly, the bond I have with my brother today is stronger than it has ever been, he is living five time zones away, but the bond that we had when we were at home together has only grown stronger. I hate it that we spent time arguing.

It is imperative that every parent teach and re-teach every week, every day, every hour if needed that your first friends are your family members. No arguments allowed. So start it at the top and work it down.

12 Tips to Prevent Resentment and Rebellion

Relationships Are the Key

Dr. Bobby Roberson says, “Rules without relationship breed resentment and rebellion.”

Using the word relationship, here is an acrostic of ideas to help prevent resentment and rebellion in your child’s heart.

R—Read God’s Word together.

E—Events, make big of special events, birthdays, and spiritual birthdays. Don’t always feel like you have to have a big party. Sometimes just the family celebrating is best.

L—Laugh, have fun together, and instigate this!

A—Always, be the same always. Consistency and stability are key ingredients to every successful relationship. Hypocrisy will cripple your children.

T—Treasure each day. Remember, they are a gift from the Lord.

I—Initiate time together. You may not think so, but your child craves it and needs it. So schedule it and make it a priority. Plan date times where you spend one-on-one time with your children alone. You will never regret a minute invested in these precious relationships!

O—Openness, be approachable, talk things through, be willing to talk about anything, ask questions, and remember honesty is a must!

N—No! Sometimes you just need to say “no.” You need to be the bad guy every now and then. Sorry, that is part of parenting.

S—Support the authorities in your child’s life: their pastor, school teacher, etc.

H—Honor your spouse (or their other parent) and refuse to argue. This is so important!

I—Improve yourself. Keep growing and improving in your parenting skills.

P—Pray together every night!